This may be silly or not, but something that's always bothered me is when someone addresses me as "friend"—not as calling me their friend, but giving me the title or greeting of merely "friend:" i.e. "Hey, there, friend," "How's it going, friend?" "Friend, here, will tell us," etc. I feel honored that anyone would call me their friend. I welcome all. What flips me wrong about this form of greeting, though, is that I feel like I'm being classified amongst other "friends," that I am among a collection (of objects), or that I am recognized as being their friend but they do not support it well enough to see ME, my individuality—that is the biggest reason. I am not completely certain that these are the reasons people fly this term about. For some, this may be it. For others, they may find it endearing to call others this, perhaps saving it for select people. Anyone in the habit of using it has their own reason. Personally, I often feel slapped with a number, being seen among a crowd or given a label and not prized for myself. Much of my feelings, though, may be based on how genuine or ingenuine (not an actual word but whatever) the term is used. For example, when someone addresses a group of people I am in as "friends," as in, "Friends, I'm having trouble" or "I hope this helps you, friends," in my experience, they are usually endearing with the term, and it reads kindly to me.
As I've reflected on this, I've wondered what people consider ranks a friend. For me, I feel I've had lots of friends. I've thought anyone who has been nice and friendly with me as a friend, and I would do what they ask of me within my moral code. I have been open to anyone who has wanted to be my friend and at times, though I did not initially feel an interest in getting to know someone, have opened up and made effort to reach out to those who showed (even shy) interest to be my friend. The idea of a friend is very fickle in my mind, as I have had little to define as a friend. Everyone is available, I feel. Why shouldn't I be open to anyone?
This can be hurtful, though, when I've grown to love someone and want to be there for them, but I know that they are only self-interested and their interest in me is for a purpose of perceived temporary self-gain—that I am disposable and only a step stool. When I am aware of this, I try to know my limits and not be taken advantage of or played. In this case, I understand where there is a definition of friend—that their actions are not of a true friend.
Still, I continue to be confused when I am having a good time with someone, and they happily state, "Let's be friends" or "Why aren't we friends?" I am always taken aback by this and know not how to answer. In my mind, we already were friends. If you are pleasant towards me, I am your friend.
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