Somehow, my thoughts recently have led me to the idea of rules,
and basically, I think rules are stupid. Most of them are unnecessary, but of
course, some are good. Rules are good so that people don’t hurt themselves and
others, and if followed, people can live peacefully and get along with others
and stay in line yada yada yada my GOSH! I am so bored already! All of you know
that about rules (And if you don’t, then, frankly, I think you’re stupid, but
I’ll probably still be your friend)!
Mostly, I think the majority of social rules are pointless,
especially when it comes down to gender, like “Boys don’t hug,” “Boys should be
serious,” “Boys are strong and quiet,” “Boys need their physical space,” “Boys
are…” STUPID! Honestly, I don’t want to follow any of those rules, and I know
other respectable BOYS who don’t. But, I admit, I am a feminine male (not
effeminate, please. There is a difference. Thank you), as in I’m more
emotional/sensitive, domesticated, clean, gentle, smaller framed than most guys I meet. Regardless, this
isn’t a spat about gender roles, just social rules (which, I know, they interchange and affect each other and yada yada, but I don’t want to get into that
right now, nor am I meaning that social rules all have to deal with gender).
ANYWAY! Much of this started when I was halfway through my
first semester of college when I realized I was an adult. I was old enough to vote, but also I was an individual and could live however I please. I could
get a girl and move in with her. I could move out of my house. I could
volunteer at the hospital. I could cut down trees. I could unlearnedly strum a
guitar and sing at the top of my lungs on Main Street. I could shoot up drugs.
“I can do whatever I want!” (I often said this phrase to my family whenever they suggested anything, which drove them crazy…and still
does…and which I apparently still say, since one of my old roommates once responded to his own question with, “That’s right. You can do whatever you
want.”) That doesn’t exactly mean I want to do those things, but I realized how
free I was and how free I’ve actually been.
So, now, I mostly side with the idea of making my own
rules. I love making my own rules. Who is living my life? I am! Why should I
not just live how I want within my own value code (meaning religion/beliefs,
law obedience, business ethics, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO PUT HERE IN VALUES!)?
Something I abhor is when people act with shame (which is a prevalent trait in much of
Utah culture, especially Cache Valley; look around and see it). I love to be shamelessly nonsensical. I
LOVE TO LET LOOSE—anything goes—and anything that is not impolite is welcome
from others. I believe in observing without judging, as in there is no
quizzical scowl with an up-turned lip, accompanied by, “Maybe you shouldn’t do
that,” unless it is unkind or socially misplaced (in which case, correction would be properly done away from the(, perhaps, embarassing) presence of others). But, of course, I am a more chaotic personality, so
for most social situations, I enjoy jumping in, going with my feelings, and
seeing what happens. No social rules. No worrying about what people are
thinking. Being fully committed to doing or saying or behaving whatever I feel
in the moment I feel it, no matter how boisterous or over-the-top. (Sometimes,
I feel like not saying or doing much, and that is perfectly fine.)This doesn’t mean I’m wild. For me, I enjoy politeness and encouraging social interaction. I like to laugh and uplift others and to be uplifted, in turn. I do not feel like I am having to obey some kind of unpublished handbook of social behavior. Some can argue, though, that I have been conditioned to follow rules of politeness and positive socializing, and if that’s true, I don’t care. I interact how I want to interact. And if you desire to interact as the social rules laid down by your best friend or your roommate or that gorgeous senior cheerleader you admired your sophomore year, then do it, as long as it is want you want to do.
This may all sound jumbled. I have no idea. But I’m sure
those who really know me understand this, because they have seen me do it and
have experienced me.
"We'll make the rules up as we go along and break our own if we're not having fun."
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