Recently, a friend of mine said that a particular experience she had the previous night led her to decide that she really liked a boy--enough that she would love to date him. He was the top of her list. I found this odd that she would say that she has "decided" to like him.
Looking over the people I have had romantic yearnings for or have gained particular interest for, never would I say that I decided to be interested in them in that way. There was a point of recognition for all of them. There came a time when I was considering our relationship or them that I realized I had grown fond of them. Often, even, especially in the case of romantics, I have to slap myself and work at bringing myself to not like them due to circumstance of their relationship status, my perception of their interest in me, or other occasions.
I felt I did not understand my friend's pattern of romantic feelings, but I considered again, wondering if she was describing the same process I perceive for myself but in different terms. Perhaps, the only difference between us was attitude. I passively allow myself to be victim of circumstance, while she decides to have control. Or, perhaps, we desire different perceptions from others, that I don't care to be seen as passive, but she desires to be seen as one that takes control of things around her. Either way, her method seems to reign deliberation, while mine appears more chaotic.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Blog Status
I know I have not written in a long while--6 months to be exact. I have been continuously busy. In fact, my break for the summer without significant responsibility consisted of 3 days--a short time for an unemployed college student. It's been a busy summer!
BUT, this blog has still been kept alive with lots of views, despite the lack of activity from me. It has received 78 views this month, which to me, seems like quite a bit for a nonpopular blog that hasn't received a new post for half a year. So, thank you--to all the people looking at this that I know and all those viewing randomly. All are welcome!
ALSO, One of my projects lately has been writing for, acting in, and co-producing/-directing a new sketch comedy group, Popsicle Stick Six Gun. We have several sketches we plan on producing and posting on Youtube. This is the first of the installments (WATCH IT NOW!):
BUT, this blog has still been kept alive with lots of views, despite the lack of activity from me. It has received 78 views this month, which to me, seems like quite a bit for a nonpopular blog that hasn't received a new post for half a year. So, thank you--to all the people looking at this that I know and all those viewing randomly. All are welcome!
ALSO, One of my projects lately has been writing for, acting in, and co-producing/-directing a new sketch comedy group, Popsicle Stick Six Gun. We have several sketches we plan on producing and posting on Youtube. This is the first of the installments (WATCH IT NOW!):
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Adventure #8: Nothin' But Nettie
Story time! About a very special someone! (Not my "special someone," but someone I really love and admire)
My friend Jeannette and I met in a beginning acting class at BYU. We had one of those relationship (that I have often) when I would quietly talk and joke with her, but she ended up being the one that got caught talking. Sometimes she was reprimanded for distracting me from what was happening in class.
In January 2010, we attended a BYU stage production of They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Afterward, we ate Teriyaki Stix for dinner. She was hesitant but ordered some bowl with fried rice. After two bites, she was sick of it, so I tasted it and found that it tasted like barf. DISGUSTING! So, we threw it away.
Also, the other class members were fairly odd, it seems. They had a habit of staring at me. NO JOKE. For instance, one day (that I came late) I took a seat in the front right corner. After progression in the lesson, someone from the front left corner was commenting, so I turned to listen to her. She talked a long time, and I grew tired of looking that direction, so I turned to glance at the back left corner of the room and found about half of my classmates staring at me. Half of the stare-ers corrected themselves and turned away, uneasily, while the other half persisted staring. This was very uncomfortable for me, so I turned to the front of the room to face a blank white board...It was very awkward...There were other similar instances, but soon after our exam failure, Jeannette and I formally Withdrew from the class.
Among other fantastical happenings of that semester were randomly befriending Garrett, a Tuesday night security guard for BYU's fine arts center, and Jeannette's pregnant balloon poodle, Penelope; on a random night, I made the impromptu decision to join her at a BYU dance but was denied entrance, because I was wearing jeans, instead of slacks.
One last highlight of visiting Jeannette was last Fall semester. She had recently moved, so she gave me the numbers to her new address but didn't distinguish the direction of north/south/west/east. I found Mountain View Apartments, which was somewhat in a seeming vicinity of what she told me, so I called her, waking her.
"Hey, I'm at Mountain View Apartments. Is this where you're at? Which one is yours?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah, I think that's it," she replied. "I live across the street from there."
I looked across the street to find Wasatch Mental Health.
"I'm pretty sure you don't live across the street," I laughed, "Unless there's something you haven't told me...Is it alright for me to come over? How long are your visiting hours?...What is your real address?"
"'Kay. Come in."
"Well, it is."
"Did you ring the doorbell?" she inquired.
"Yeah," I replied.
"I didn't hear it. I don't even see you out my window. Where are you?"
"I'm at the place you told me. I'm ringing the doorbell." I obnoxiously repeatedly pushed the doorbell. "It's ringing. I can hear it."
I heard the door to the apartment next to me open and looked up to see Jeannette standing in its doorway. She didn't say anything but shot me a sassy smile. I walked down and joined her in her apartment.
We played a game of Battle of the Sexes, which I won (Go Men!), and had a lot of fun. On my way home, the windows of my car were rolled down, and I had Madonna's "Give It 2 Me" blasting while I was singing, cruising down Center Street in Provo. I stopped at a light just in time to scream, "GIVE IT TO ME!" and to catch the attention of people on the sidewalk...
These are just a few of my memories with Jeannette, but whenever I am with her, we have so much fun! She is very much like Glozell from Youtube, if you are at all familiar with Glozell. Everything she does is so entertaining. She is someone I can always depend on for a good time and who I can trust will be respectful in personal conversation. I am excited for her to come back to Provo next month and look forward to great more fun with my friend!
My friend Jeannette and I met in a beginning acting class at BYU. We had one of those relationship (that I have often) when I would quietly talk and joke with her, but she ended up being the one that got caught talking. Sometimes she was reprimanded for distracting me from what was happening in class.
This semester, Jeannette took a break from school to nanny in Texas and has even blogged about her nannying experiences. I've missed her a lot and have been meaning to write this post for several months now. I dedicate it to her! Here's to Jeannette and our adventures!
In January 2010, we attended a BYU stage production of They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Afterward, we ate Teriyaki Stix for dinner. She was hesitant but ordered some bowl with fried rice. After two bites, she was sick of it, so I tasted it and found that it tasted like barf. DISGUSTING! So, we threw it away.
Anyway, it was at this meal that we decided we should take another class together and decided we'd take a Doctrine & Covenants (LDS scripture and church history) class. MISTAKE! We took it from a professor whose name we could never pronounce, spelled something like: Schaalje. It was at 10 in the morning. Jeannette only woke up early enough to come to one class meeting, and I kept being late, causing me to miss several quizzes and forget to make sure I signed the roll. Regardless of her attendance history, Jeannette scored higher than me on our first exam, which she also failed...there shan't be more comparison of our scores.
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Pregnant Penelope and baby |
Among other fantastical happenings of that semester were randomly befriending Garrett, a Tuesday night security guard for BYU's fine arts center, and Jeannette's pregnant balloon poodle, Penelope; on a random night, I made the impromptu decision to join her at a BYU dance but was denied entrance, because I was wearing jeans, instead of slacks.
One last highlight of visiting Jeannette was last Fall semester. She had recently moved, so she gave me the numbers to her new address but didn't distinguish the direction of north/south/west/east. I found Mountain View Apartments, which was somewhat in a seeming vicinity of what she told me, so I called her, waking her.
"Hey, I'm at Mountain View Apartments. Is this where you're at? Which one is yours?" I asked.
"Oh, yeah, I think that's it," she replied. "I live across the street from there."
I looked across the street to find Wasatch Mental Health.
"I'm pretty sure you don't live across the street," I laughed, "Unless there's something you haven't told me...Is it alright for me to come over? How long are your visiting hours?...What is your real address?"
Eventually, I found my way over to her apartment building and approached the apartment that was hers. I rang the doorbell. The lights were off inside, and I waited. No one came. I knocked and rang the doorbell more to no answer. I called her, again.
"I'm here," I told her.
"'Kay. Come in."
I tried the door. "I can't. The door is locked."
"Um, it shouldn't be."
"Well, it is."
"Did you ring the doorbell?" she inquired.
"Yeah," I replied.
"I didn't hear it. I don't even see you out my window. Where are you?"
"I'm at the place you told me. I'm ringing the doorbell." I obnoxiously repeatedly pushed the doorbell. "It's ringing. I can hear it."
I heard the door to the apartment next to me open and looked up to see Jeannette standing in its doorway. She didn't say anything but shot me a sassy smile. I walked down and joined her in her apartment.
We played a game of Battle of the Sexes, which I won (Go Men!), and had a lot of fun. On my way home, the windows of my car were rolled down, and I had Madonna's "Give It 2 Me" blasting while I was singing, cruising down Center Street in Provo. I stopped at a light just in time to scream, "GIVE IT TO ME!" and to catch the attention of people on the sidewalk...
These are just a few of my memories with Jeannette, but whenever I am with her, we have so much fun! She is very much like Glozell from Youtube, if you are at all familiar with Glozell. Everything she does is so entertaining. She is someone I can always depend on for a good time and who I can trust will be respectful in personal conversation. I am excited for her to come back to Provo next month and look forward to great more fun with my friend!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Adventure #7: Notes on My Study on People's Interests
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Kylie Minogue |
A few months ago, I wrote an extensive paper on Kylie Minogue's song "All the Lovers," in which I analyzed the general message of her music (that paper can be found here). In my argument that she explored themes of love and vulnerability, I could not help but see deeper similarities between her and myself as I perused over her music in search of the themes she conveys. I saw that I valued many of the messages often presented in her music. Previously, I had been liking her music, but never had I explored why I may be drawn to it in the extent that I have. This led me to look at my other favorite music artists, like Shania Twain and The Corrs, and explore their common themes. At this time of analysis, I was exploring the music of Daniel Bedingfield and found a commonality with him, too. Of these artists--Minogue, Twain, Corrs, and Bedingfield--I found that all were sensual/sensuous persons with sultry vocals and hopeless romantic personalities undertoned with cheeky sass. They all (with possible exception of Bedingfield; I'm not sure) have been known as classy figures associated with elegance. Also, every diehard Corrs fan I have met is a fun-loving, loyal, gentle, and soft-spoken romantic. From the interviews I have seen of the four sibling Corrs, I sense that each one matches this definition, as well.
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The Corrs |
Perhaps, the need for deep-rooted interests with emotional connection comes from the superego's correction of the id (superego does this so we behave in a manner befitting society). Because of the actions of the superego, the ego can become confused. This is where interests come into play. When the ego is needing validation in balancing the id and superego, it turns to interests. In such, it finds safety and security in things that satisfy id while accomplishing superego.
Recently, in a class discussing the Doctrine and Covenants (some of the modern scriptures from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) in which I am enrolled, we discussed the 88th Section, verse 40, which reads, "For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own; justice continueth its course and claimeth its own." Basically, everything is attracted to its own; everyone is attracted to those like them. This makes total sense that people would be attracted to things that are like them. Their interests are reflective of who they perceive themselves to be or what they want to be. Interests give identity. They assure us of who we are. More can be said of us by our interests than we give credit for. SO MUCH of how we use interests as a means of identity goes unnoticed and is subconscious, just as how Minogue's music appealed to me, yet I did not fully seek to answer why. Further, it wasn't until after I had carefully selected and included these pictures of Minogue, The Corrs, and Twain in this blog post that I realized a similar theme of light in all of them. I'm sure something can be said about that. The purpose I find in exploring our interests and attractions is to discover what roles those interests play in developing our identities.
An example may be those who are interested in the hobby of hunting. It seems reasonable to say those individuals desire to be providers. They believe themselves to be providers, or they desire to someday become providers, and bringing home a kill expresses and re-establishes that desire and identity for them. (Of course, there are also other identity establishments that can draw people to hunting.)
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Shania Twain |
Family is an essential part of one's identity. Our interest in them, then, is to validate and design our perceived identity. From an early age, our family unit, no matter how formed, trains and shapes the identity we take. If among our biological family, this is especially key, as we see similarities in how we look and how we behave temperamentally. Children, especially, are in the stage of developing an identity and often turn to their parents for guidance through the means of mimicry. Commonly, one of the parents is chosen by the child, more prevalently than the other, and as the child gets older, they speak most often about the parent they are most like. After all, this parent is of most interest to them, as they have established the earliest forms of their identity around this parent. To speak of them gives validity to oneself. However, these interests are among all family relationships, whether it be parent to child, sibling to sibling, aunt to nephew, or any other relationship. Seeing these similarities drive our interests to associate with them and, in turn, love and be loved by them. They form a facet of our identity, which interests us to seek validity of that identity from them and in them.
At times, family interest for someone may be minimal, because of a distracting interest in work or something else. They are seeking validity in an identity in something that their family does not offer. Some, though, do have interest in family life, but the identity they receive from their given family is not what they desire, so they turn to alternate means of identity.
People can only connect to and understand art (movies, TV shows, books/novels, paintings, sculptures, music/songs, architecture, etc.) on their own level of what speaks to them--them being made up of their own experience and personality. All that we know in life is our own experience (even if you witness or learn of someone else's experience, you are still in your experience when you see or learn it, and you process it according to yourself). Art is reflective of the human experience, often specifically to the creating artist's experience. It makes sense, then, to go about reading a work of art through one's own lens. We can only go through and process art from what we already know and understand, what we identify with and recognize in the world around us or in ourselves. In this way, we connect with art by understanding and identifying with it, even abstractly or if it is only to say, "Yes, I know that. I have been there. I understand it. I adopt that idea. It is a part of me." We gain preference for artworks and use that interest in them to validate our identity.
The role of religion in one's interests is another key part of one's identity, as they seek to answer the questions of their origins and creation--where did I come from--where am I going--what am I doing here (*ahem, while sober; not because of intoxication)? Some do find what they believe to be answers but do not highlight religion in their life, because they fill their life with finding validity in identity through alternate means. Others cleave unto their religion to re-enforce that identity they found. Our interests, too, come into play when we choose which religious establishment to identify with. Few do not find interest in the questions of origin, because they seek fulfillment of identity in other fields. MUCH MORE can be said about religion in this topic...but I haven't figured how it fits yet...and what else I have figured, I can't seem to find the words to explain what I understand.
The concept of personality types, or common combinations of emotional, attitudinal, and behavioral response patterns, is backed by association of interests. It would only make sense that those of similar tendencies would be drawn to each other, to similar careers, and to similar hobbies, as they share similar senses of identity and similar needs for validation.
Our interests change as we age, because our sense of identity changes over time, as well.
It seems fair to say that disinterest or lack of interest occurs when we perceive that the interest does not validate our identity or what we desire to perceive ourselves as. We do not connect with it, or else, we do connect but desire not to.
Depression seems to be the state in which one lacks interests and, consequently, lacks a sense of validity in their identity, or vice versa. Further, when someone's interests are not being recognized or accepted, depression can also result because of the same lack of validity.
There is so much more that goes along with this topic, that our interests validate our identity, but these are the basic things I have so far. It seems that it would be beneficial for people to look over their interests and discover what they are gaining by having these interests and why they have them.
What do your interests say about you?
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Adventure #6: Keepin' It Real
I waited for someone to respond but grew impatient and turned to speak directly to him, answering, "Seven-thirty," maintaining composure, though in my mind, I irritatedly thought, "You just asked that, you idiot!"
The girl opened her door and asked me her same question regarding our friend. I expected this from her and just answered as I had before. I sat in my seat, but before I could insert the keys into the ignition, I heard a voice outside the car shout, "Cut!" It was then I remembered I was in a film......
I had forgotten and wasn't focused, hence my agitation at the repetition of the actually unscripted question regarding the movie. Consequently, I forgot to speak up so the boom could catch my reply, and I also directed my answer directly to the asker, who was in a different direction than the boom.
So, here's to keepin' it real and failing to keep a balance between reality and imagination.
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